I'll admit, like most women once a guy breaks your heart (or even if you breakup with him), your feelings towards the male population decreases for a bit. The phrases "Boys are Stupid" and "You need to find yourself a MAN not a BOY" are used quite a bit. We're females, if one guy hurts us, we tend to have sour feelings towards the rest of the males. This might not be true for everyone woman but I know it's true for most of the women I know. Yes, we don't hate every single male out there. There are our fathers and our good male friends we still care about. It's the guys we don't know that inadvertently get put on our "I don't like you because you're a male" list. The good news is, even though there are a few guys that hurt you, there are still guys out there who make your bitterness towards the male population decrease little by little. And that's where I am today. I'm past that first part of a breakup where I have a disliking for all males in general and have now reached the point to where I just have a disliking for the males who have hurt me. And that is thanks to few good guys.
Before I left for Italy, I was told to watch out because Italian men love young American blondes. So I was prepared. Though I did not want any guys to hit on me because of the fact I was in what I thought an amazing relationship, I was still surprised that no guys were even giving me glance. They kept looking at other girls. No I didn't want the attention, but my self confidence still dropped some. I mean not to sound conceited but I got looked at all the time in the States, why not in Italy? I have a feeling it was because somehow the guys could tell I wasn't single.
Now since being single my self confidence has soared! I have had 2 good friends tell me that they're still kicking themselves for not dating me when they had the chance. There are reasons now why I can't date them and I'd rather keep them as a friend now anyways. Last night I had a friend of mine who's engaged tell me that if he was single he'd flirt with me! He also told me I was way out of Mitch's league. I was very surprised to hear that. I never thought I was too good for Mitch, most of the time I never thought I was good enough. Now I have something new to ponder about. I've also had a wonderful guy friend from GB tell my girlfriend that I should have just dated him instead. He would have never hurt me. And you know I honestly believe that. He is a wonderful guy and one of my best guy friends. But again I'd rather keep him as a friend and not risk our friendship. What's also nice is these guys said these things only just to be honest with me (and then blush afterwards). They weren't looking for me to actually date them (ok I'm sure in some small way they were but they're also ok with just staying friends).
On top of the wonderful guys from back home, Italy has also been great guy wise. I go out with my girls and end up meeting and talking to random guys. I mean the last time I went out, I ran into a Italian guy I know, and met some new Italians, a guy from Whales and a French guy, and I also met up with a new guy friend I made. We're all of these men flirting with me? No, but they weren't repulsed by me. I had a good laugh with them, a drink and then went on my way. Maybe I'll run into them again, maybe not. Either way I feel appreciated.
This past month, I've had some really great guys compliment me and make me feel better. Whether they are friends or random guys, my dislike for the male population has vanished and has given me hope that there are good guys out there; I just haven't found a good guy I like to date yet. But I'm enjoying Italy too much to be tied down right now. Plus there's no point in getting into a relationship when you're leaving in two months. I'll worry about that next fall. Plus I'm not in any place for anything serious right now. Right now being single in Italy is one of the best things that could have happened to me! Yes, I'm still hurt at times but those feelings are easy to ignore over here. And each day that goes by and each compliment I get, my heart gets one broken piece put back into place. Also, once I get back in the States, I'll have my wonderful pseudo husband Jeff to hang out with all summer! Not to mention all of my other friends. And then when I return in the fall, I will rejoin my GB family and friends there. Things are looking up for me and I'm feeling very good about where I am today. I chose to live my dream. You can't live a dream without a little pain along the way.
So thanks to all of the wonderful guys who make me feel appreciated and letting me know that I'm not unwanted and I am beautiful J
Ciao!
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